Light is invariably ignored, unnoticed, until it fades.
Surrounded by darkness, fumbling sightlessly, I fell. Not once, but multiple times. During that period, I had no idea what was happening.
Much later I learnt we are born with Light in us.
As we grow, some of us become attached to physical, worldly, things. Me? I took to the material world hard. I was immediately attached to those around me.
Every shiny, gleaming bauble my eyes landed on, I wanted to possess.
There, so early on life, the fading of my Light began.
Over time those desires became boundless. However, there’s a downside to desires – not being able to realise them.
At that point, it didn’t occur to me to question the myriad wants and dreams I relentlessly pursued. Hence I had no idea whether they were actually for my highest good or even, good at all.
There are consequences for chasing things that are not meant for us, I eventually discovered.
An obvious one is the wastage precious time. The other is a mental and emotional toll from failing to achieve what we set out to. Or worse, getting something that turns out to be terrible in the long run.
Failures and disappointments continued creating lack of self-confidence, lack of self-worth, lack of self-love. The trunk of lacks was as voluminous as the trunk of perceived failures. Except, back then, the failures weren’t just perceived, they felt very real and very painful.
I lost all self-belief. My Light deemed.
However, I had one saving grace through this ‘lesson’ period spanning a large chunk of childhood, university and corporate life – I had faith in God.
I believe it is this faith that lit up a path for me in the darkness guiding me to the right places and the most incredible people who have helped me regain and continue to reclaim my Light.
They taught me to question myself.
This one helps me a lot: what is keeping my peace away at this moment?
